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100% Additive-free Natural Tobacco

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Bane of my existence. Fire of my loins. Love of my life.
Wait. What am I talking about. I'm not a smoker.
Yet, flying in the face of previous lung purity, I have been smoking these cigarettes for the past week or so since my return from Hawaii.
Why? Well, they taste good and the high is interesting. Sometimes too interesting though as it makes me dizzy and sick.
Foiled again: pleasure revealed as pain.
But, wait 100% additive-free natural tobacco sounds like a pretty good deal, no?
When was the last time you heard anything positive about cigarettes? 100% naturally baby, yeah!!
ahhh...I see through you peace pipe smoke screen, Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Company (coincidentally established the year I was born- I can hear their PR rep loud and clear:"we've been killing people since you were born, Mcdonough!")..."Naturally" killing me too.
Though, to their credit, they don't even let you enter their website unless you admit you are already a smoker.
I stared at the screen for a good two minutes before I agreed to play their little game.
They also have a footer (nearly as big as their logo) declaring, "If you don't smoke, don't start." To support this highly suspect position they list 58 different websites to help you, their customer, quit the habit.
Something tells me that, in spite of all their hypocritical -yet, potentially honest- efforts, they aren't losing too much business.
In conclusion, I will site my membership to the inherently flawed human race as I admit that I too could possibly be victimized by nicotine.
Thank god they don't sell Natural American Spirits in South Korea (Santa Fe Co. won't even export them to Korea... I checked their website) and I refuse to be a dirty Marlboro man and/or smoke thin, silly-named Korean cigarettes.

1 Responses to “100% Additive-free Natural Tobacco”

  1. Anonymous Your Mother 

    Mother is concerned with my health. Despite the unnecessary anxiety I have caused her, I am still glad to know that at least someone is reading my blog.

    An selection from a recent email:
    "On another matter, I was very concerned and disappointed to learn that you are smoking. This is the second or third reference you've made on this subject, so I don't think I can ignore the fact that you may be going down this road. Please reconsider --- it could affect the rest of your life. Most smokers will tell you that they never realized how hard it would be to quit. And, previous generations started before they understood the obvious harmful effects. (I could add, what's your excuse!) I know I'm being blunt, but it is something I feel extremely passionate about. Colin's smoking is something I consider as somehow my failure as a mother and nurse. Need I say more?
    With love, Mom"

    And there you go. Smoking: It kills and makes your mom angry.

    Enough to get me to quit something I never started in the first place...

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