The Seoul Train

At last Sunday's Jokers/Harriers SSFL soccer match 'Irish' Mark Cumming's Ma and Pa were in attendance. The latter was later requested to write up the game report. Now even though much of the archaic mother tongue falls defly on these ears, I still find the account absolutely hilarious. Take, for instance, the impression I had on him: Myles our very own Shane McGowan... Wallowing, again, in ignorance I am thinking to myself as I google the lad up, "well, must be some sort of Irish soccer player..." and to my temporary displeasure I realize the startling similarities between myself and the non-football playing Irishman. No I never wingmaned in a band called The Nipple Erectors, but I will end up looking like fuckle on the right if I keep smoking those damn cigarettes people give me. So let this be a lesson Myles, a man of many words and few teeth is not something to aim for- if that's how things end up then that's one thing but lets not shoot for it from the impressionable age of 23. This recent game report also brought to my attention that my once graceful days of football playing finesse are numbered as my football pitch demeanor has, more than once, been referred to as...well, less than gracious. and McGowan up front kicking the ball as far as he could away from the goal in his customary bull dozing fashion... I swear I used to have some moves I could offer the defender before I kicked the ball and ran. even radudu, the SBFC PR rep sees me in this shady light: Miles runs through the Pats defense like a Samoan rugby player. Don't let the 'y'/'i' swapping fool you. Same person being described.
Cheers, Shane. To the motherland.

*The original 'game report', entitled Sept. 11, 2005 SBFC 5 - Pepe's Harriers 1 , may be found by following the following: http://groups.msn.com/seoulbritishfootballclub/matchreports.msnw

The following series of pictures provides little insight as to how the actual night went down. I tried to upload a video but after repeated attempts I abandoned the enterprise and returned to the keyboard with a reaffirmed feeling of general computer ignorance. I hope at some point that video will make it onto the blog. It certainly captured the spontaneity and odd humor of that late spring night. It is a great minute long clip because it makes Seoul night life nearly palpable. But until I read more on blogging all you get is a poor description in small font. So, bars and beers and bundles of dead-ended, language barriered conversation topics were eventually translated into more beer, 할라버지 hip-hop club, and a lot of Korean food at a very early hour in the morning. I believe 하안동 came back into to view well after sunrise...

Miles, you look so very absorbed in thought! What is it that you were mulling over as this picture went off? Please let us peer behind that stoic pose, allow us in on the mystery of your thought process. Provide us all with a convincing explanation that irrationality does not indeed dwell behind those silly looking bangs... I can safely say nothing grand is straining the gears at this point. Only general tribulations of the night occupy my concern. As this picture went off I believe I was pondering why the shoes off club is so utterly unexciting whenever we bring people to it. "Of course I know of a place to go in 홍대" and then I defend it, hype it up... "yeah. its really chill, low key, hip music..." and then we get there and the DJs working the bar. Consequently no one is dancing. Not that there were enough people present that night to dance but... The serious look plastered across my face should hint at frustration. Frustration over something that has happened in the past hour and a half. I cannot recall exactly what the miscommunication was but they never really matter anyway. It should be noted that we are hanging out with the two most indecisive and apathetic Korean women of all time. There English is as good as my German and at this point my Korean was about as good as Joe Sutherland's Chinese. The following is probably, once again, bouncing around in my head..."it doesn't look like they are having too much fun", "but she said she 'wanted what I want'...she always says that shit...what the fuck does that mean anyway", "have we had dinner yet? didn't I tell them we were going to a restaurant?...", "why is damian drinking my drink", "yep, there she goes again. 해미 stop making fun of my fucken shirt. again. well, at least its not my shirt...where the hell are we going after this?" And without further ado I bring you...

the integral members of team 철산. 해미 and 은빈 pause for a picture they didn't want taken.

Nice hat. I should have bought it.
Oh? What was that? You don't you think so? If you were in Korea we would resolve this the way my students do. Kai-bai-bo style. This game is stunningly effective at resolving every possible conflict that arises in the classroom. Fuck conflict resolution and counting to ten. Kai-bai-bo it, bitch. So Fred hit you with ring bound notebook? Kai-bai-bo. You both want to take the test books to the 원장실? Kai-bai-bo. Who gets to be first in line? Kai-bai-bo. Students don't want to study, insist on playing a game and teacher has no other recourse but to...you got it, Kai-bai-bo. (It is difficult to explain to the boss, when she happens to walk in after I have lost the farm on Kai-bai-bo, why Miles teacher is playing games instead of harping to the students about correct vowel pronunciation.) I have my suspicions that within even the most prestigious Cheabol the board members break it down Kai-bai-bo style when push comes to shove. Are we going to merge with LG Telecom? Is everybody present? Ok, Kai-bai...
Since I suspect my readership lives abroad lets settle this the democratic way. A vote. Of sorts. Rate the hat on the man. Not just the hat and certainly not just the man. I don't know if I could take the brutal truth slopped all over the internet. No silly number scales will be used. Just type a sentence or so with your distilled opinion.

Caught in a blur but not yet blurred by the night. Yet. 은빈 and Damian turn and present the standard Korean picture pose.

The following is humorous.

Ann. What a wonderful job you did in a class that I didn’t really teach. You sat there eager to learn for every class of the entire summer term. I was of course there too but late most of the time. Not that I wasn’t present at our 학원, I of course, as a teacher, have to be and I abide, so the tardiness resulted from me hiding in the office on the look out for 원장님 trying to see just how many minutes I could clip off of the class I was to teach (without incurring a rebuke.) Ann, now don’t misunderstand me. it is not that I do not value you as a student but more that I don’t value myself as a teacher and consequently find it increasingly more difficult to take myself seriously during class.
You know, sometimes I wonder what exactly is going on in the middle of our classes. I of course have a lesson plan that would, in theory, act as a safety net of sorts, but that could only be a serious option if the net itself was taken seriously before hand. Damn nice thing the boss of the English 학원 is not anywhere close to conversational in the language- ill tell you a secret Ann, everything jotted down in that manila notepad, seriously looking clip board of mine is absolutejibberish. Ha! There it is! Nonsense! I said it! I cant understand much more of what I write myself on those wastes of paper than my language inept boss can! So that there is the explanation for those times when you see me pause stern faced but hazy and blank looking. Maybe even appearing a little lost…

SOUTH KOREA
서울시 동작구 상도4동 213 일호 프라자 3층
(156-034)

my address. send me something.

it has recently come to my attention that the above Korea characters may look like garble.
here is my attempt to remedy the situation: an seven step process that should allow you to at least see correctly the characters that you may not be able to read anyway.

1.Press 'Start' at Window (XP)
2.at 'Control Panel' Choose 'Date, time, Language, and Regional Options’
3.Select 'Regional and Language Options'
4.Choose 'Language Tab'
5.Choose 'Details'
6.Select(or Add) 'Korean' and 'OK'
7.Press 'Apply'

Here is a picture from May. Yes, that would be four months ago. This is progress. The yellow shirted Korean woman on my right is 은빈. Notice the death grip on that soju bottle. Notice the shirt I am wearing. Quite safe to say it is not mine. Also notice that there is no cigarette in my mouth.